they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
