I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
