whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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