need another drink. this is the easiest way
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
