Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
