I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
