no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
