wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
