Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
