i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
