i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
