Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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