Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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