I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
