part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
