their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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