Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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