did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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