Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
