HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
