i don't like sucking hair
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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