Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
