Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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