I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
