I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
