a queef is a wish your heart makes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
