Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
