There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
