i barfeds in our rink
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
