this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
