He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
