found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
