We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
