I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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