If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize