The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
God, I missed his penis.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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