I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
