Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have demons in me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
