when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
