Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
