And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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