But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
bring money and cleavage
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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