dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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