i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
