accomplished twins. life is a go
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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