im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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