have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
