The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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