and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize