I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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