Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
