Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We need to get me chipped asap
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
