sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
