Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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