Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
