Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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