No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
