he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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