Say something about gay babies.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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