Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
