Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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