I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
