i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
