Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
