I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
