Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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