I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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