So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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