The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize