Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
