whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
