I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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